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| I've been cooking a lot. I've been working on baking and making pizza dough and pasta and cakes and breads and different vegan recipes with tofu and TVP and seitan. I want to tackle soups. I don't have soup very often. I think I'd like to make a soup that goes good with a sandwich. But I want to try it all. Maybe chowder.
I'm still doing shows. I can't stop. I think as long as bands still want to come through here, I can't say no. Even if I can't convince a decent sized crowd to show up, I think it's still worth it. I like watching the bands. And it's a great way to make new friends from across the country. And I'm trying to start my record label. It's ending up costing more money than I have, but I'm scheming. I just have to find some ways to make the cash. It might help if I could find myself a summer job.
I've got other things to say and I would say them more often, but they seem too personal. Even though those of us that still read these are a dwindling few, I don't want to be misunderstood with my most inner of thoughts. And I don't like that. I don't like being a private person. I think you should be able to know what I'm thinking and where I'm going with it. So how about you come to shows and hang out with me and check out cool bands.
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| I feel crazy and sick.
There are times where I feel what could be described as overwhelming fits of joy where I can hardly contain how content and accomplished I feel. Like everything around me is magic and I'm in it and a part of it and it's rushing. I can sit wherever I am and experience happiness in what I can only imagine is it's highest form, because I know that that moment is perfect and I feel so grateful that I exist in this and everything in my life has added up to each of those moments and I want to do something with that. But, mostly just lately, I feel sick. I feel useless, out of place, lazy, numb, insane, etc. Those two states of mind will trade off from day to day.
Whenever a band comes through it's always fun to get to know them. Most of the time they're very excited to be here and play their songs. People on tour might just be the best people ever to be around. They're people you might just know for one day, but that one day is an event. It's great to show them Russellville. After the show and after hanging out for a while, I often get a comment from bands about the people in this town. They're surprised to find such cool people in the apparent middle of nowhere. They always think a really good thing must be happening here. I tend to agree.
I love everyone I know in Russellville. The people in this town are
generous and kind and I've grown up with a lot of them. I've lived in
this town my entire life. I've watched how it's changed. It's
comforting and beautiful where it's stayed the same. And the way it
used to be are memories that I can still vividly recall and appreciate.
I've never once considered living anywhere else before this summer. When I do move away, I'll miss Russellville. More so than that, I'll hope it stays how it is with the people I care about helping each other out and creating and sharing and everyone giving the same amount of love that I receive all the time. But I really know not to worry about that. I get nervous about silly things.
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| Going to School of the Americas protest in Columbus, Georgia tomorrow around 5pm. We might have room if anyone else wants to go.
"The School of the Americas (SOA), in 2001 renamed the "Western
Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation," is a combat training
school for Latin American soldiers, located at Fort Benning, Georgia.
Initially established in Panama in 1946, it was kicked out of that
country in 1984 under the terms of the Panama Canal Treaty. Former
Panamanian President, Jorge Illueca, stated that the School of the
Americas was the "biggest base for destabilization in Latin America."
The SOA, frequently dubbed the "School of Assassins," has left a trail
of blood and suffering in every country where its graduates have
returned.
Over its 59 years, the SOA has trained over 60,000 Latin American
soldiers in counterinsurgency techniques, sniper training, commando and
psychological warfare, military intelligence and interrogation tactics.
These graduates have consistently used their skills to wage a war
against their own people. Among those targeted by SOA graduates are
educators, union organizers, religious workers, student leaders, and
others who work for the rights of the poor. Hundreds of thousands of
Latin Americans have been tortured, raped, assassinated, "disappeared,"
massacred, and forced into refugee by those trained at the School of
Assassins."
http://www.soaw.org - for more info
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| I don't think I'll ever have anything new to say for a blog entry. I've already written the way I feel. You could take one from 2004 and it's pretty much what I would complain about now. I'm prideful and egocentric and insecure, I'll never understand my closest friends, my freakishly cheerful disposition, kittens are cute, there are shows, and I think that about sums me up. Besides skateboards and girls. Well, I'm into bikes now.
My role in the world is very unimportant. If it's possible for my existence to have any worth at all, I can be fair and care. (Maybe that's just easy for me to say since I'm already predisposed to being hopeful.) The least I can do is not eat certain things. Plus it's fun. I get to listen to more hardcore. Where's my Earth Crisis?
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NO!!!!!!!!1111